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Good things come to those who wait in small packages. - Liam
I wear the cheese. The cheese does not wear me. - Liam's friend Brent
I'm going to staff that sucker hard. - Renmauzuo, before attacking a skeleton
Erik: Dro mohr lah, meh tor dar ka.
Liam: Did you just say "You will die"?
Erik: Well, given that there are infinite numbers of demons and devils, they probably have infinite dialects and it is
likely that I just said "You will die," "I eat small puppies," "I like your mother" and "I will give some sweet lovin' to
that large tree over there" all at once.
Liam, I am going to ride this tree.
::rides tree::
Liam, I said I was gonna ride that tree, and by the gods, I rode that tree. - Erik
I'm gonna be a sexy Elf. YES! - Erik
Josh: Wow. Those are some really tiny gods.
Liam's Dad: No, Josh. Those are just representations of the gods, not the gods themselves.
Josh: Oh.
The cabbage rolls and bounces down the hallway and laughs something that sounds vaguely like "Johnny Cabbage, Ho!", then
rolls around a corner, never to be seen by your eyes again. - John, DMing the aforementioned D&D session.
Is that a pocket in your cabbage or are you just happy to see me? - John, still DMing
You have been becabbaged, this being somewhat like being begrimed, only greener. - John, again
You see, sieges are like parties, except you get shot at with diseased farm animals. - Phez_, explaining sieges to
Jer'Lasco
Gingerbread is a major source of ice cream? - Jennifer
Damn you, narrator! You know I'm drunk! Dictionalize better! - Phez_
Have you ever thought of the implications of an immovable rod to a horny female character? - Gabe
Wow! Leonard Nimoy sure is popular in Star Wars. Wait... - Jennifer
Oh, gods. Did I just tell a joke about breasts to a Catholic priest? - Erik
Ranger: They should put everclear in the game, even though there wasn't any in medieval times. They put robots in, but
no everclear.
Maitreya: But they're MAGICAL robots. Is everclear magical?
Ranger: That's ok. I'm chasing giant shrooms on the moon. I guess that's magical too.
Maybe Sunday, but certainly not Sunday. - Erik
Phasmian: What happens if I walk to the edge of the plane?
Jer'lasco: You come to a fucking wall. Yes, that's right. As you reach it, the wall is engaged in sexual intercourse.
Don't let the dog out. Grandma's caracass is out there. - Erik
Cleric: Want me to pacify?
Maitreya: I'll pacify. The mage way.
Maitreya begins to cast a spell.
A frost giant commoner's skin is torn by steel.
A frost giant commoner has been slain by Maitreya!
Maitreya: . . . he's pacified.
I'm going to drag my sexy, if dead, body to Rivervale. - Maitreya
I haven't had to call poison control in years. My kids must be growing up! - Erik and Jennifer's mom.
I died a couple of times, but then I got better. - Maitreya
Erik: To get the where the dragons live, you have to go through a cave full of sirens who don't like anyone.
James: Why don't they like anyone?
Erik: I don't know, they probably used to work at Kohl's.
This is where super villians come from. They all start by working at Kohl's. - James
Erik: Tunat Muram Cuu Vauax?
Jennifer: Only if you eat your broccoli.
Are you accusing me of having any sort of maternal instincts whatsoever? - Jennifer
Erik: It seems that Hand of Seru is opposed to both Heart of Seru and Eye of Seru.
Jennifer: Why can't all of his body parts just stick together?
Erik: I have no fucking idea what I'm getting for Christmas.
Jennifer: What about a celibate idea?
Random_Adventurer: It's kind of risky. You might die.
Maitreya: That's ok, I've only died twice today. I'm still way below my quota.
His cancer was cancelled. -Jennifer
Erik: Money? Who needs money? All it does is buy stuff.
Jennifer: It buys you more stuff if you're wearing a bodice.
Random_PoKer_1: What's the full name of Ssra Temple?
Random_PoKer_2: Sneeze while typing "Sarah's razor" and you'll probably come close to it.
Ich bin ja so Käseful. -Erik
We got some good ones at Reptilefest:
Mommy! Today I learned that turtles and tortoises actually breath! - Little girl
I know how to handle gators and crocs because I watch reruns. - Molly
I like to throw my snappers a cute, furry rodent to rip up every now and then. It's a nice treat. The turtles like
it to. - Erik
Gator Bob: She shoud cooperate.
Erik: Good. I'm not quite ready to argue with a 16-foot reptile.
Photo Bob: We need more parents like yours.
Erik: You mean parents who let their children play with dangerous reptiles unattended?
Photo Bob: Exactly.
He's a boy. He's a boy. He's a pain in the ass. - Gator Bob
I haven't been bitten enough times to have that much common sense. - Erik
All I needed was python piss all over my hand to end the weekend right. - Erik
Sign: Optimism is the foundation of courage.
Erik: . . . And the start of disappointment.
Well, we know his tongue has been up your nostrils. - Jennifer
It's the video game incarnation of "fucked up." - Erik, on Katamari Damacy
It's revengeance time. Noone nukes Maitreya for 500 and lives to tell about it except for Maitreya . . . and sometimes
not even him. - Maitreya
And your carrots shall be as a boxcar to my dreams. - Uvudauum.
Keara: How are you going to get past them?
Merkava: "Uncreative problem solving."
Keara: What's that?
Maitreya: It involves a lot of blowing things up and hitting them with swords until they stop moving.
Yes, it's true. I get spam mail. I'm a horrible person and I've failed at life. - Maitreya
New Trondheim Citizen: We're all going to die, aren't we?
Merkava: Not if I can help it.
New Trondheim Citizen: . . . so, we're all going to die then?
Merkava: Yeah, I guess so.
Jennifer: You said you'd catch him!
Erik: You said if he runs...It was more of a brisk walk.
Today I came to the conclusion that I have failed at life. - Erik
Let's go milk a platypus. - Erik
I don't need pants to kill you. - Liam
Tornicade: What if Tserinna had Mayong's child and named him Vule?
Ridefort: If you post that on the forums, I will end you. I will hunt you down and end you.
AFK. Hanging myself. - Ridefort the kyv
Cinexa: I don't think you understand their anger.
Ridefort: It's not that I don't understand. It's that I don't give a shit.
Wow. That is a lot of spiders. I am not a lot of mages. This is going to be fun. - Maitreya
Keara: Don't you ever think of anyone other than yourself?
Merkava: Don't be silly! Of course I don't.
Run like there's an army of badass giants chasing you because, well, there is. - Maitreya
Capitalization is the difference between 'I had to help my uncle Jack off a horse' and 'I had to help my uncle jack off
a horse.' - Lunae
IRC is just multi-player Notepad. - Lunae
Erik: I've met lots of pretty girls in college. Some are just prettier than others, and more fun to talk to.
Jennifer: You mean like the ones who don't run away?
Erik: Yeah, that's a big plus.
That's a great idea! I'll zerg it with newbies! Screw you strategy, I'm going to throw 300 level 10s at the giants and
hope I get lucky! - Maitreya
stolenseachang e: remember nationstates?
Brykley: i have it bookmarked
stolenseachang e: i'm
spamming their forum
Brykley: sounds like fun
stolenseachang e: it is
stolenseachang e: You have
been banned from this forum.
Please contact the webmaster or board administrator for more information.
Brykley:
why does this not suprise me?
stolenseachang e: because i'm fun
Jennifer: Why are you wearing a tube top?
Ted: 'Cause I'm a real man.
Soriczan: What were you saying?
Neria: I said I wasn't going to die. I didn't say I wasn't going to cut it close.
Erik: Corn Syrup. Does most blood have corn syrup in it?
Jennifer: Yes.
Erik: Oh, that makes sense then.
Getting engaged is the best, just don't get married. - Maggie, from Bounding Main
I'm not all that brave, honestly. Lucky for me, fortune also favors the guy with the nearly impervious suit
of magical armor, a large collection of very powerful and deadly spells, and a really big sword. - Merkava
Merkava: Why don't we stop raping our prisoners and trying to kill each other and solve this like civilized demons?
Myr'Nathul: That's how civilized demons solve their problems.
No, I'm not sure this is a good idea. In fact, I'm pretty sure we realized it's a horrible idea long ago. But it's going
to be hella fun. - Merkava
I'm only dead in theory. - Merkava
Is the enemy using some sort of terrible spell that's causing your body to writhe and twist in all sorts of horrible
ways, or are you just trying to dance? - Hathor
Erik and Jennifer's Dad: What does your shirt say?
Jennifer: "Horizon Hospice and Palliative Care." So if you know anyone that needs help dying-
Erik and Jenny's Dad: You're the person to come to?
Jennifer: Ye-es . . .
I'm the only one with an actual guy at the end of my guy-line! - Juli
If the world ends tonight I think I'll be kind of unhappy. - Merkava
Coil, I mean this in the nicest way, but sometimes you really suck. - Blues
The dragon ate us like Thanksgiving leftovers. - Maitreya
Gay penguins are The Devil's footsoldiers. - Erik
Maitreya: Here's my plan. I'll pull 5 mobs to solo, you pull 5 mobs to the raid, and we'll see who kills theirs first.
Kuldaan: That would be mean. And kind of disheartening.
Admiral Anderson: So, anyone else a bit disturbed by the fact that a writer known for prophetic dreams just finished
a film about the most horrifying demons in our history attacking a major civilian ship, based only on his dreams?
Fleet Commander Evanston: I don't think it's much more alarming than the fact that I command more than 75% of the Alliance
fleet.
Anderson: But at least you don't melt the flesh from people's bones. Usually.
Maitreya (on Gunbound's bad word filter): So I can say "nut" and the filter is fine with it. I can say "butt" and that's
ok. But God forbid I put the two together.
Blues: Actually, according to some people God does forbid you put the two together.
While you have excellent taste in women, when it comes to the "Knowing the the fuck you're dealing with when you try
to kill someone and take over his life" category, I fear you fail miserably. - Merkava
Refugee: What can we do? He's an arch fiend. Only another arch fiend can defeat him.
Hathor: So we got another arch fiend. It's not that hard.
Merkava: Hi!
Riding chunks of exploded rock is the best way to get to the moon. - Maitreya
I especially liked the part when the bad guy stopped doing the being alive thing. - Merkava
You may have only been on for 15 seconds, but you were fantastic for every single one of them. I look forward to seeing
your acting career advance, and may you live longer than your first character. Good luck, try not to let any demons melt the
flesh off of your bones. You're far too cute for that. - Fleet Commander Evanston, in a note written to an actress in
the movie made about him.
Merkava: I have such a great idea.
Hathor: Every time you say I shiver in terror and tens of thousands of people cry.
Merkava: But I never cook with onions.
Let's shove a dreadnought down his throat and call it a day. - Senior Fleet Commander Evanston
Fleet Commander Evanston: You don't get it, do you? I am the Alliance. I control everything. I command the fleet.
The council will always bend to my will and the capitol is the stage for my play. The Servants of the Crystal worship me as
the right hand of their god, and would do anything I tell them too. I am the most powerful being in this galaxy, and its inhabitants
are my pawns.
Fleet Commander Anderson: So, what you're really saying is, just about any pretty girl could pretty much take over the
entire galaxy by getting into bed with you?
Evanston: Sadly, I believe your assesment of the situation is correct.
Al'Zanoreth: Your dreadnoughts will fall, your fleet will be wiped out and the souls of your people will be harvested
to feed my children.
Fleet Commander Evanston: I have a better plan. How about instead of all that, you die in a fire, and I laugh?
Evanston: I've got a flawless battle plan.
Anderson: I really hope you didn't come up with this battle plan by listening to Xenosaga music while thinking about
fleet battles.
Evanston: It wasn't. It was this really cool techno music I found on Myspace the other day.
Anderson: Every day I wonder why the Alliance hasn't been destroyed yet.
I thirst for the blood of 10,000 orcs, but I'll settle for some orange juice. - Nelyssa
I'd rather study religion than philosophy. At least in the Bible, people die. - Jennifer
Merkava: I base all my diplomatic decisions on how hot the leader is. When two factions war, if one side is led by a
pretty girl, I will invariably side with them, no matter their philosophy.
Hathor: What if both leaders are pretty girls?
Merkava: My head explodes and I cry.
One time, I saw a snake eat a kangaroo! - random_kid_0547
Does this turtle ever walk, or do you have to carry it everywhere? - Random_kid_0759
Erik, you're creepy enough without crawling under tables. - Grace
Maitreya: I always try to be Isabella's ally because she's the prettiest one.
Brael: I'm Catherine's bitch for that reason.
It looks like a lizard godzilla! - Random_kid_0349
This iguana feels like my dog! - Random_kid_0486
In 2 seconds you managed to give us more information than we could ever have possible wanted. - Grace
Jennifer: What are you doing to my hair?
Erik: I wanted to smell the ocean.
Set chairs to science position! - Erik/Ambrose
I've had so many things shoved up my ass today that I'm not taking any chances. - Erik
Ona: Turn on, dammit!
Erik: I am!
Who needs children when you can have tiny knives? - Erik
I've been "training" him, giving him advice to improve his skills with women, and now he's spent most of the day with
my girlfriend. I'm either doing something very right or horribly wrong. - Curt
I am going to take back the name of Anonymous. I am an internet love machine. - Devin
It's kind of like a mental disorder, but we made a club out of it. - Devin
That was like 5 minutes of concentrated /b/gasm right there. - Devin
Ona makes my pants shrink. - Erik
Once we finish our othere projects, I've been thinking of a nice internet tutorial video we can do. Here's a brief excerpt
from the beginning:
Well, you're on the internet. Now, you might be saying to yourself "The internet is a social tool for talking to friends,
but I don't have any friends on the internet." Never fear my good newb, for making friends on the internet is quite easy.
Just go into a nice chat room somewhere.
Now, the thing to remember, is that internet users often have a lot to type so they use abbreviations to save time. For
example, let's say you want 15, a nice round number, and you're looking for friends. You want them to instant message you.
Just type "15/f IM me." You'll be surprised at how quickly the friendly people on the internet respond to your request for
friendship. - Erik
Pylonius: Ready for the acolyte?
Maitreya: No.
Pylonius: Me neither, but I pulled him anway.
Maitreya: What are we going to do about the adds?
Raren: I'm a bear!
Pylonius: I want cake!
Maitreya: I don't need as many potions as he does. He uses them all the time while tanking. For me they're an "Oh shit"
button.
Pylonius: They're my oh shit button too. I just hit my oh shit button a lot.
Maitreya: I almost died when I got stuck in the ladder.
Pylonius: Geometry: The one thing that can kill us here.
Maitreya: This named doesn't have enough adds. I'm getting more.
Maitreya: Was that bad luck, or were you too distracted by loli to heal yourself?
Pylonius: Well . . . both.
So I've found some great pictures to add to my /s/ folder today. And some of these pictures, well, the folder wasn't
the only thing that rapidly got bigger. Now, let's see which bones I have, er, no reference to previous conversation
intended. - Maitreya
Pylonius: That was close.
Maitreya: Don't worry. There are no ladders here, so we can't die.
Pylonius: There are plants we can get stuck on.
Maitreya: Shit.
Maitreya: My skin is torn by sharp teeth. The jaguar was like 30 feet away.
Pylonius: They're throwing their teeth at us. Very hard.
Pylonius: Can I get 17 AAs by tomorrow?
Maitreya: Yes!
Pylonius: Without skipping work tomorrow.
Maitreya: Oh.
Oh, my pet can tank if you need him to, I was just too busy looking at furry porn to heal him. - Maitreya
Oh, a shilling! I was wondering how the hell you added 3 letters to "shill" and got "pound." - Pylonius
Pylonius: Does any part of this seem like a good idea?
Maitreya: No. That's why we're doing it.
Maitreya: It seems limits have been established.
Pylonius: Only temporary limits. I think of it as a new goal.
Guys, Vuk needs a . . . rez, but it was a heal when I started that sentence. - Maitreya
Maitreya: I had a heart once. But it was taken by this girl, who doesn't want it and thinks I'm creepy. And comments
like that might be why.
Pylonius: Uh huh.
Maitreya: Oh well. At least I still have nice pictures to look at. And comments like that are definitely why.
Maitreya: The Deathrot Knight is pretty sexy. Look at that manly dark elf muscle, and that shining plate armor. Shit,
a spite golem is attacking me. He must not like my gay fauning over The Deathrot Knight. He was like "GTFO my Plane of Hate
with that faggotry, Mait."
Pylonius: You just can't buy entertainment like this.
Maitreya: I think I may be pushing some social limits here.
Pylonius: It's what we do best.
Maitreya: Giving people weird guild notes is a lot more fun than it should be.
Pylonius: I have alcohol in my system. What's your excuse?
Maitreya: I'm a dick.
Pylonius: I should pull three snapjaws now. That might not be a good idea.
Maitreya: It's an awesome idea.
Pylonius: But you're as much of a retard as I am, so we might want another opinion.
Here's the difference between Mait and Pylo in Vent and Mait and Pylo in guild chat: If you asked "What are you guys
doing?" the guild chat answer would be "Killing pirates." If you asked in Vent, the answer would be "Attacking pirates, raping
them and killing them, not necessarily in that order." - Maitreya
Maitreya: Chermane just sent me a great pic of herself and she looks amazing. If I went AFK right now, and told you it
was to get a drink, would you believe me?
Pylonius: Absolutely not.
Erik: So how does it feel to know that a few minutes ago you were some weird American guy's masterbation fantasy?
Becca: Quite good.
Shotgunpiratezero: No one gets Blues's jokes but Blues. He's *so* indy.
Maitreya: I'm so indie even *I* don't get my jokes.
I've determined that my dating life can be summarized as follows:
Interested in me, lives in my state, near my age (NOT old enough to be my mother).
I get to choose 2. - Erik
One of these days you're just going to get mad at me and send our conversation history to the FBI, and I will be in so
much shit. - Erik
Maddoc: If the world implodes, can I go home early?
Rashere: Yes, in that eventuality, you may go home early.
The
thing about game design is, if you stop to listen to the complaining, you'll never get anything done. - Rashere
Cinexa:
So this expansion is not about returning the focus to the high end raid game?
Rashere: It's about blowing shit up good.
Rashere:
You're no longer welcome in my house, and you're definitely off my Christmas list.
Maitreya: I was welcome in your house
to begin with?
Rashere: Well, no, but that doesn't change things.
Maitreya: Score! Bixies don't attack on sight.
Maitreya Bixielover!
Dharkj: Maitreya Bixieraper. No means no!
Maitreya: The surest sign that a game is dead is
that nobody is bitching on its forums.
Maitreya: Oh man, I've died so many times today. Normally I wouldn't mind, but
I was broke to begin with and I just put two more of the corpse summoner's kids through college.
Maitreya: Wow, I made
him mad. That goblin was all over my like Dennis Hopper on his wife.
Jennifer: I just don't know what it's like to
want to be in a relationship. When you like a girl at school, what does it feel like?
Erik: I just want to spend all my
time with her. Nothing is as fun as being around her. Even EQ loses it's appeal because when I'm playing I'm not with her.
Jennifer:
Well, I did let my EQ2 character almost die to a trash mob in Nektulos because I was talking to him.
Erik: Yes! That's
love: when you let your EQ character die because you were talking to him/her instead of healing yourself.
Epoxy: maybe I'm a shallow bitch, but she was not cute. She's either got burn scarring or terrible acne, and looks about
15.
I mean, if your into underage burn victims, don't let me stop you. But I think you can do better.
CoilSlade: You obviously haven't met Maitreya.
Epoxy: No, I have not. However I would hate to see a girl like that get any. because that will just make her think she's
that much better. and she isn't. So really, it's less about making Maitreya feel good, and more about her feeling worthless.
Urahara: I think being with Maitreya would make her feel worthless, so why not kill two birds with one stone?
CoilSlade: WE'RE SUCH NICE, CARING PEOPLE
All this hate, and without my participation. This is why I love you guys.
And by love, I mean go die in a fire. - Blue
It's ok, Brian. I cry while fapping too. - Maitreya
Let it be noted that on killdead, a board where people are vicious assholes to each other, two separate girls are being
nice to maitreya at the same time. - Radiergummi
Tulisin (2:08:54 AM): Surely there is a custom market for the more discerning Real Doll consumer?
Tulisin (2:09:05 AM): Although
if the stock models are pricey...
ChanalussNeiton (2:09:16 AM): you can prolly
get a custom catgirl
Tulisin (2:09:39 AM): Precisely!
Tulisin (2:09:51 AM): For the price
of a new vehicle or a wedding ring, =/
ChanalussNeiton (2:10:18 AM): can you really
put a price on a catgirl tho?
Erik: There's demihuman porn happening in the streets of New Trondheim.
Devin: We're in a church!
I'm going to go get some healing.
Some sexual healing.
At the lizard brothel. - Lok'Thar
I'm so perky! - Lok'Thar
That's it! Shoot pencils out of your mouth! Lok'thar (to GM)
Yiff in Bhaator, scalefag. - Erik
They put the Bible on papaya? - Random guy
Izzy(11:35:39 PM): you seem normal to an extent lol i'd hate to see you get dragged into the everyhting is wrong tide
Renmauzuo (11:36:04 PM): Wait, what?
Did you just call me normal?
Izzy (11:36:22 PM): to an
extent was added
Renmauzuo (11:36:30 PM): How . .
. how could you say that? I thought we were friends!
Renmauzuo (11:36:33 PM): Heh, well,
ok.
Renmauzuo (11:36:53 PM): I could
tell you what I did on Wednesday though and instantly dispel any thoughts of normalcy
Renmauzuo (11:37:03 PM): I could
tell you what I did yesterday too but I don't want the FBI coming after me
Add his CHA mod to his face damage. - Lok'Thar
Erik: Get a sunrod to use as your backup lasgun.
Devin: That was like double nerdy.
Erik: What do you call a group of first level commoners wearing
cloth shirts and armed with sunrods?
Devin: A stack of Imperial Guard!
Taarna shakes her head, "I don't understand model trains."
Niva says, "They're like smaller versions of regular trains, Taarna."
'cuz when you're a C# you're a sharp all the while,
From when you write main 'til the day compile. - Erik
Yo mama's so fat when she sat in a chair the chair threw a buffer overflow exception. - Erik
Q: Why do people think C++ programmers are slutty?
A: They let all of their friends have access to their privates.
Tivni: I'm thinking of buying a sweater but I don't know which one.
Erikha: The one with the highest item level, obviously.
Tivni: But they all have the same ilevel.
Erikha: Wait, you turned 18 today, right?
Tivni: Yes.
Erikha: Then I can legally tell you to buy the most revealing one.
Tivni: They're out of the one I want in my size.
Erikha: Buy one size larger and eat a shitton of McDonalds.
I told my mother I was reading about sound effects programming and she asked if I was working or playing. I don't know
if my parents just don't listen to what I say or if they have really weird ideas of what our generation does for
fun. - Erik
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